DBZFICWITHCOOLTWIST
by Debido
Summary: I wrote this oneshot parody in a couple of hours, a bit of action, comedy, romance and intentional clichés. Its BV Centric, its witty, a bit of violence, some gore. Best of all, even I'd give it a good rating, and I'm a harsh reviewer. !Minor Update!


Disclalimer:

I don't own Dragonball

I don't own Dragonball Z

Akira probably wants to disown GT if it wasn't for the FAT pay cheque

I have a really bad sense of humor

nuff said.

Summary: Vegetcentric based one-shot plot, clichés, yamcha bashing and a twist right at the end – all done with high quality writing; and yes there is some intentional silliness in it. If you're lucky, you might get my bad sense of humor

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The space craft shot through space faster than light, space and time warping around it as it headed for its destination. The single occupant peered out the front observation window, watching the stars streak by in a epileptic fit inducing klydascope of colours. Picking out his nail manicuring bag from beneath his cushioned pilot's seat, he pulled out the nail file and used the end of it to scrape out the blood and dirt from under his long and sharp nails as he pondered over the deaths of all the innocent lives he had extinguished on the previous planet.

The new planet he was travelling to would be a challenge, the planet was feared throughout known space; the last known location of Frieza and King Cooler before they disappeared. Only rumours of a saiyan from there, who claimed his son obliterated the duo, and the same fate would await any who dared trespass upon the planet. And who would dare test the word of a saiyan? _He_ would, _he_ would dispel the unbelievable tales, _he_ would go into Terran space and conquer any that dared oppose him.

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Peace...

Calm...

Tranquillity...

Serenity...

The wind gently whistled through the palms trees upon across the vast deck of Kami's lookout. Only a solitary green humanoid form could be seen, he sat in mid air, he legs crossed and arms on knees, his eyes closed. He listened to the thoughts of all the humans and creatures below, replying telepathically to those who needed guidance; suggestions, thoughts, ideas, inspirations and anecdotes were all he could provide.

Then he felt it, like a pin prick in the back of his mind that could not be ignored. All his senses diverted to the source of the power he could sense in the cosmic distance. It felt dark, deep and sickening; The creatures intent clear in his very aura.

No chances would be taken. Reaching out with the Namekian powers he had imbued in him since birth, he telepathically reached out to the first and last defence against those the armies of earth stood no chance against. For all the power of the humans' guns, bombs and missiles – they did little but irritate such powerful beings.

Their first and last line of defence is the Z soldiers: a small assembly of Earth's most powerful warriors. They are Gods amongst men, masters of the torrents of spiritual energy that flow through them like great oceans. They had defeated men, cyborgs, aliens, demons from the shadow dimensions and magical beings that could destroy planets with but a thought.

Only one amongst them had seen the true terrors that lurked amongst all the stars.

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The Bulma-Bubble telescope was fixed on the section of space where Bulma had been told the creature's ship would emerge. Vegeta: Her friend, body guard, lover and husband; had told her of when and where the menace would be coming from, before looking deeply into her eyes and telling her "I'll be back in time for dinner". Then with his characteristic smirk, the recreant of the Z soldiers let some of the fathomless energy within him flow out his feet, and he flew off into the distance, a trail of vapour and a thunderous clap like thunder as he broke the sound barrier the only signs he had stood in front of her a moment earlier.

Bulma anxiously waited, looking into the eyepiece of the telescope. At first she thought the shimmering of space was refractory error intrinsic to the light passing through the atmosphere, then the point in space warped and bubbled at the edges before the vessel was violently brought forth. The ship was as dark as the creature inside, jagged edges and almost organic wrappings did little to hide the malice of its creators.

It had been several years since the reign of Buu had wrought destruction across her home planet, and there had been relative peace. Her husband was powerful, of that she had no doubt, but it didn't stop the ominous feeling she had every time he went to fight. It weighed heavily on her heart whenever he travelled into space alone, when he fought the androids, when he fought cell, and it killed her inside when she learnt that Vegeta had sacrificed himself to Buu for his family.

This time was no different; the constrictive feeling around her heart would not ease, not while he was out there.

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The space craft lit up like a meteor in the night sky on entry through the atmosphere, all the eyes of the Z soldiers tracking it as it approached North City. Goku the 'Gladiator', Tien the 'Terminator', Krillen the 'Killer' , Gohan the 'Goldenboy', Vegeta the 'Vengeful', Trunks the 'Tyrant', Piccolo the 'Picaso', Goten the 'Great', 18 the 'Eternal' and Yamcha the 'Yo Yo' – the 10 finest warriors of the earth's defence stood in North City's central bazaar, waiting as the ship landed in the place Dende had informed them of earlier.

As the ship settled on the tiled ground of the bazaar, dust, wind and debris was kicked into the air. A few of the citizens of North City went scurrying in fear at the site of the craft landing. The high pitched whine of the thrusters wound down as the engines were switched off. The surface of the ship could still be heard creaking and hissing steam as it cooled down from the fiery re-entry. An abrupt hiss from the port side of the ship took some of the Z-soldiers unaware. Several of them crouching into a defensive position, Yamcha even began cowering and crying; curling up on the tiles in the foetal position and sucking his thumb.

With the abrupt hiss, a large door lowered to the ground, creating a platform to the ground. The beast from within emerged at the entrance, the bright lights behind him let the humans only see his outline with little feature as the high contrast ratio between the night light seeping over the beast and the lights behind them meant their retinas were highly contracted.

The outline of the creature was at least 8 feet tall; it was broad, muscular with many writhing tentacles stretching out from his back, and his pose intimidating.

"Bow before your new God mortals!" It bellowed " for I am Vi-Ryath, conqueror of the South Galaxy, commander of the most immense army the Universe has ever seen!". The Creature began walking down the platform on its 6 thick legs that tapered to a point, almost arachnid with their shape.

"You are all now slaves, to me, Vi-Ryath the Great!"

One of the Z soldiers, Goku, stepped forward, his fists clenched. "I don't care who you are, or where you're from, no one here is your slave, and no one wants to be your…"

"Silence!" Yelled Vi-Ryath, interrupting Goku "No one makes demends of Vi-Ryath. You should be honoured to even be in my presence before you die, mortal! I have killed countless like you! I rape, I pillage and I kill all those that stand before me! Vi-Ryath!"

"Yeah well trust me Vi-Ryath, you don't want any of thi…" Goku began to reply but was interrupted again, this time by Vegeta smacking him in the back of his head.

"Would you hurry up already Kakerot!" he demanded adamantly.

Both heard Vi-Ryath chuckle "I see you are both eager to die! I shall show you my true power, then you shall both die!

Vi-Ryath stood at the bottom of the platform, then crouched on his 6 legs, bracing his arms against him. The Z-soldiers could hear the emitting a low groan as a fierce red aura erupted around Vi-Ryath, his chi flickering and flowing around him like a wild an uncontrolled fire.

As the ki around him ascended higher into the air, and the grumbling of the creature turned into guttural yelling, there was a flash of gold light that illuminated the entire bazaar. There was a clap of thunder, and the red aura of the demonic creature was no more.

The Z soldiers stepped back and looked over themselves, fresh and warm brown blood was showered all over them, oozing down their face. Goku, getting over the shock of being saturated in a retching awful fluid, saw Vegeta standing behind the creature pulling his fist out from the cavity in the chest of the beheaded creature. Krillen and Tien still blinking, looked around, still unsure as to what happened.

"I can't believe that just fucking HAPPENED!" Goten cried, pointing shakily at the mutilated corpse.

"Is it DEAD??" Tien asked aloud

Goku spat out some of the brown blood from his mouth, he was just about to say something to Vegeta when the Prince flew at full speed at the creature, transforming into his most powerful form in a moment and throwing a ki-embued right fist into the demons face. Goku and Gohan were the only ones able to see Vi-Ryath's head exploding like a paper brown bag filled with offal all over his own ship, before Vegeta flipped over behind him and used the left fist to penetrate through the spine and into the heart of the beast before releasing a point blank Galick Gun.

"Vegeta?! What the hell was that?" shouted Gohan

"You could have got us all killed" Piccolo snorted

"Mummeee…" whimpered Yamcha

Vegeta shook what blood he could get off his fists, then pulled back the top of his left glove and looked at his Omega sports classic watch "Well I have other things to do then stand around listening to some moronic Binku-jin waffle on about delusions of grandeur! Is that OK?" he remarked sarcastically.

"But VEGETA, he may not have been such a bad guy, I mean sure he might have killed a lot of people, but then again you did too before you came here. I'm angry you killed him before you gave him a chance to be someone else." Goku retorted.

Vegeta rolled his eyes "Well he may just have been good underneath it all, but Bulma is cooking Risotto tonight!" and with that, he leaped into the air and streaked across the sky.

18 wiped the rest of the bodily fluids off her face "_Ugh"_ she moaned "This is dress is dry clean only damn it"

Gohan went over to his father "You're not seriously going to let him get away with that are you Dad??"

Goku looked back at his son "I don't know Gohan, Chi-Chi is making dumplings tonight"

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Can't be bothered reviewing? Then just send me a number from 1 to 10

0 - This is a disgrace to - Seriously dude, go back to high school, this is cp  
4-6 - Not bad, needs some improvement  
7-8 - I enjoyed this fic, a bit above average  
9-10 - Dude, you're as good as Lady Rhapsody, the Prime Minister and Lavender Goddess V!

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that. Yes, that is the actual ending of the fic. If I get some nice reviews, I might be inspired to write my Epic that's been 3 years in the making.


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